Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
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