I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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