Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
