You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
