no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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