I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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