Capitaan dildo arrescate!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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