tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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