The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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