Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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