imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
