I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize