If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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