He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
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He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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