I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
