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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars

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• (409): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude you has no fucking this poptart

  (719): View more from Colorado

  What?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont know to explain this.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.

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• (805): View more from California

  The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs

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• (941): View more from Florida

  When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?

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