i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
