he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize