Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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