Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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