If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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