guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
