i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Quick, to the slutcave!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
