??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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