...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
