Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
