shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
