Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
