The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She's the barista slut.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
