I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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