I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
