Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize