I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
