Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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