Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
