she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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