I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize