i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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