nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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