I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
