You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
