A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize