and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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