we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
