I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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