can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
