i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
