we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
