Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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