I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
