whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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