I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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