Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want to make out with him forever
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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