i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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