4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
