I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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