i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's just like the Real World with babies
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
