i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
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Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
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Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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