so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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