I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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