I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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