If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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